love

Best Movies About Love (PART 1)

Posted on by thefrenchcaterpillar

Having gone through many silly infatuations, tumultuous relationships and heart-wrenching breakups, I have watched many, many movies trying to approach the subject of love… and some have even managed to do just that, each in their own way.

So here I am to the rescue, on a mission to help people who, like me, love to binge-watch movies and have a cry fest over some douchebag who probably didn’t deserve you.

(SPOILER: The Notebook is not one of them!)

        1. Moulin Rouge! (2001) Baz Luhrmann

Even if the Notebook didn’t make it to this list, I had to pick Moulin Rouge! as the #1 love movie (I’m trying not to say romantic, as not all movies in my list will be as romantic as this one). It’s an epic over-the-top movie about love in all its beauty. I know many people don’t like musicals, but I think everyone should give this a try. The cinematography is splendid, the costumes are magnificent and the lights and sets mesmerising.

Favourite scene: This is a tough one… There are so picturesque scenes in this movie: when Satine (Nicole Kidman) sings “Diamonds are a girls best friends”, the powerful tango to a cover of The Police’s song “Roxanne”, and of course the heartbreaking final scene…  If I HAD TO pick one, I’d go with the classic Elephant scene. Everything about it is grandiose, but the medley song, featuring everything from David Bowie to Elton John, makes it a winner.

        2. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2014) by Michel Gondry

This movie is one of my favourite movies of all time. There is just so much poetry in Gondry’s directing, who really lures you into the magical world of a couple’s intimacy. I used to identify with the character of Clementine, like I do with all anti-manic pixie dream girls, which is pretty much resumed in these stills:

Favourite scene: When Joel (Jim Carrey) explores his deeper subconscious with Clementine (Kate Winslet) by reliving some childhood memories. It’s funny, it’s smart and… weirdly romantic.

        3. The Lovers on the Bridge (1991) by Leos Carax

Another one of my all-time favourite movies. When I first saw this movie, it haunted me for days afterwards. I felt this unexplainable feeling of bitter melancholy and joyous hope at the same time.  It’s the story of a woman and a man who fall in love while living in the streets, or to be more precise: the Pont Neuf bridge in Paris.

Favourite scene: The explosive scene where they (Juliette Binoche and Denis Lavant) dance to “Whole lotta love” by Led Zeppelin under a sky filled with fireworks.

        4. Closer (2004) Mike Nichols

This movie is not very romantic in the sense that it’s very sceptical, but it’s still very much about love. It’s does not depict the idealistic kind of love you usually see in movies, but it shows the cracks, the misconceptions, the harsh reality of love. The story is a bit complicated to resume in a few lines, but it follows the fates of 4 individuals, beautifully portrayed by Natalie Portman, Julia Roberts, Jude Law and Clive Owen.

Favourite scene: Every scene with Natalie Portman, another anti-manic pixie dream girl, whom I think is brilliant in this movie. But I’d have to pick the very hot scene in the strip club, where she is wearing a pink wig and telling the only truth she’s willing to say to her ex -boyfriend’s girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend (told you it was complicated), portrayed by sex-god Clive Owen:

–      Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off.

        5. Jules and Jim (1962) François Truffaut

Obviously I had to pick one or two french movies, I’m half french after all. It’s a classic movie about three friends, and lovers, caught in a long-term triangle drama, or as the soundtrack song puts it, caught in the “Tourbillon de la vie” (the swirl of life).

Favourite scene: When Catherine (Jeanne Moreau) dresses up as a man and they run around the city like kids. It’s the first scene where you get a sense of the dynamic of the trio they’re about to form, but it’s also a feminist statement. As soon as she puts on that fake moustache you can feel a certain shift in Catherine, like she can finally be free.

        6. Show Me Love (1998) Lukas Moodyson

Show Me Love is a movie about a teenage girl who falls in love with another girl in a small town in Sweden, but it’s also about heteronormativity, teen angst, sexism and the difficulties of coming out. The movie is very realistic, almost awkward at times, but it sends a powerful message of acceptance and whoever doesn’t go “aaaaaaw” at some point during this movie hasn’t got a heart.

Favourite scene:  The last scene. Elin (Alexandra Dahlström) is just so awesome and brave in this scene, and it definitely made me want to stand up for love. I know it sounds cliché but hey, as I said in my last post about breakups, love is cliché.

 

        7. Blue Valentine (2010) Derek Cianfrance

This is another realistic/cynical movie about relationships facing the ups and downs of life. The couple formed by Michelle Williams and Ryan Gosling are simply adorable, but they are depicted in a very raw way, which makes it very romantic but also a bit depressing at the same time. I simply love these kinds of movies, I get to dream about love while accepting how absurd and cruel it can be.

Favourite scene: The Ukulele scene, hands down. It’s the cutest, just watch for yourself:

 

        8. Rust and Bone (2012) Jacques Audiard

Another french movie, I know, I can be a bit chauvinistic when it comes to French movies and art… But this film is simply too beautiful not to make it to this list. I had this unexplainable crush on Matthias Schoenaerts after watching this movie, don’t ask me why unless you’re a psychiatrist. This movie is also very raw in its own way, but the love between the two characters, perfectly portrayed by Marion Cotillard and Matthias Schoenaerts, just pierces through the screen.

Favourite scene: When he takes her swimming in the ocean. I cried.

        9. Romeo+Juliet (1996 )Baz Luhrmann

Another epic movie by Baz Luhrmann, the eternal romantic who likes to kill all his characters and break our hearts over and over again. I don’t know how he managed to incorporate Shakespeare into our modern world, but if you let yourself get submerged by the atmosphere of the movie, you forget that the words you’re hearing are from the 16th century and let youself dream about a love as pure and naive as Romeo and Juliet’s. Oh and by the way, the soundtracks

Favourite scene: The whole Capulet’s masquerade party where Romeo and Juliet first meet is grandiose, not only for the cute “love at first sight” moment, but also for the crazy, explosive party led by Romeo’s brilliant friend Mercutio.

10. Before Sunrise / Sunset / Midnight trilogy  (1995, 2004, 2013) Richard Linklater

A great trilogy by one of my absolute favourite directors of all time (if you haven’t seen Boyhood, go see it). It tells the story of the relationship Celine (Julie Delpy) and Jesse (Ethan Hawke) over a longer period of time, from their first meeting to the disillusionment they face together in middle age. By doing a trilogy, Richard Linklater really succeeds putting love – and life – into perspective, plus it’s perfect for binge-watching.

Favourite scene: The last scene. I don’t want to spoil it, but it’s really the outcome of hours of feature film. It was worth watching hours of feature film just for that scene. After following these two characters you start to get attached, so I was a bit sad it was over, but it had this unexpected cute optimism that made me smile.

 

PART 2 is coming with my top 11-20 movies about love, so stay posted! 

 

How to get over a break up

Posted on by thefrenchcaterpillar

I wanted to write a book about my last break-up, but by the time I had processed most of it I realised there was no story to tell that hadn’t been told before. Every word I would write would end up sounding like a big old cliché, because that’s exactly what it was. There’s nothing original about a break-up. Everyone has felt that wrenching pain, and everyone has thought “this will never go over”.

Spoiler: it will

We often feel like the deep, deep feeling of sadness we feel must be a proof of our deep, deep love to a person, when in truth it’s not always the lost love that causes the most pain, it’s our hurt ego. I’m not saying love is a myth and heartbreaks are silly delusions (well maybe a little bit), but in my opinion a lot of pain could be avoided by doing a little damage control. Some feelings are simply easier to neutralise by using your brain rather than your emotional instinct.

 

There are different stages of a break-up. I will use one of my favourite jazz albums of all time, (in)appropriately titled “Love Supreme”, by John Coltrane to name the different stages of a break up.

1. Acknowledgment

This is the first stage of a breakup. During that time, you will need to adapt to this new situation and let everything sink in. It’s important to create a new environment for yourself, a safe place. You can have a cry fest and binge-watch a romantic movies (PS: NEW POST TO COME WITH MY TOP MOVIES ABOUT LOVE!), but don’t let yourself get sucked into your own suffering. Avoid isolating yourself and find friends you can rely on which can give you the support you need or just keep you occupied. Finally, the most important thing is not to trigger yourself by reading old texts, stalking your ex on Facebook or listening to the songs that make you think of him/her. Try self-control, I promise you it’s very rewarding.

2. Resolution

If you’re still writing love letters to your ex or doing a list of all the ways you could get revenge by now, stop it. Now is the time to accept the reality of the situation: your relationship has ended and you need to get over it. Redecorate your apartment, party until dawn or focus on your career: whatever your thing is, do it. Try to refocus on yourself and the things you love (except your ex!). When I suddenly became single after a long relationship, I had completely forgotten how to do things just for me. I lived alone for the first time and suddenly it didn’t matter what food I ate, or if the apartment was clean, because no one was there to share it with me. I had to re-learn to enjoy doing things just for me.

3. Pursuance

Now you might think this stage is superfluous, but it’s actually crucial. Why? Because in my experience, when you start feeling better after a while there is often a backlash. It’s the same as when you stop smoking, at first your body goes into survival mode, your only focus is getting through the day. However, once the worst is over and you start feeling a bit more optimistic, you start to let your guard down and suddenly you’re standing drunk outside a bar with a cigarette in your hand. A breakup is quite similar. You can go from feeling like the world is yours, to hysterically crying because of a song on the radio that made you think of that one time he made fun of your belly button. You just need to push on and remind yourself why you broke up, over and over again.

4. Psalm

The final stage of absolution. But when are you really over someone? I don’t know. The appropriate question here is rather: when are you really over a breakup? When you stop feeling that twinge of regret when you think about your ex? When you can finally wear that dress he got you again? When you fall in love again? There are many symbolic milestones, each story has its own. To me it was seeing my ex again without my heart beating like it was about to explode.  It sounds stupid, but had I listened to myself a couple of months earlier I never would have thought it was possible. I was genuinely and entirely convinced I was never going to get over our failed love story. I did.

There is no secret remedy for a heartache, but with a pinch of rationality, self-control and patience you will heal beautifully and be ready for… even more pain and deception!

YAY!!!